Love You, Matt

Hi Friends,

Today is December the Twelfth. It is also the 16th anniversary of what we call my brother Matt’s homegoing. Tired of fighting cancer, he was glad to go Home. He even had a couple of dry-runs when he thought he was dying and then strangely felt better. SO not like Hallmark movie. I am glad for these dry runs, though, because as it turned out, he went peacefully in his sleep.

It is funny, you store things in the fibers of your being, in your subconscious, in your body and on the back-burner of your spirit.

This year it started with this little live pine tree I bought because I am cheapskate and would rather pay $20.00 for something that might survive, than $40.00 for something that will end up on my curb. So there was that. Then you can imagine me wrangling lights around this unruly little tree. And then my conscious mind and heart realized two things: One, this little tree was a Norfolk Island Pine, the same type of tree a friend gave my family after my brother died. The second realization I had was that the Handel’s Messiah CD was playing at exactly this spot:

I know that my Redeemer liveth,
and that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth.

And tho’ worms destroy this body,
yet in my flesh shall I see God.

I know that my Redeemer liveth:
For now is Christ risen from the dead,
the first fruits of them that sleep.

That beginning part is straight out of the book of Job, baby. And if you don’t know Job, he lost everything, and was still able make this astounding declaration.

I think God knew I needed a little something right then. They say he’s not the God of the dead, but of the living. And I think he wanted to remind me that Matt is alive and well, just not HERE.

Miss you terribly Matt. I can’t promise how long I’ll keep this pine alive, but thank you God for the beautiful reminder, smack where I needed it: in every day life.